"The first time you see him smile; that makes it all worth it." Part I: The Set Up

This post is inspired by three things.

First, this video which circulated around Mother's Day. Second, this item on the radio show Marketplace. I should say here that I didn't hear the segment, but the promo stuck with me. Third, a personal experience.

Let's start with the personal experience because that is what made the other two coalesce into this post. The short version of the story is I took my almost four year old to urgent care where we waited for two hours to be told that nothing was really wrong with him. There I pulled out every trick in my hat to keep him occupied and calmed him before his x-ray, assuring him that there wasn't going to be "lectricity." By the time we left, it was 8:30 pm, neither of us had had dinner and I was not in the best of moods. We stopped at Target to get some medicine and groceries, returned home where I promptly set two things on fire while trying to make us a very late dinner. Then, out of nowhere, he looked at me and said, "Mommy, you look beautiful."

Of course, I smiled and said thank you. But it quickly occurred to me that if my life were a sit-com, and this was the episode where we had adventures at urgent care and mommy set the kitchen on fire, the episode would have ended there, with me replying, "Oh honey, that makes the entire day worth it." Cue cheesy music.

But it's not "worth it."

Before I elaborate further, let's return to the other two pieces of inspiration. The Mother's Day video is from a church that I, admittedly, know nothing about. I just watched the video because I was bored on my lunch break. But by the time it ended, I felt rather badly about my position as a mother. The clip, a mother's version of Bohemian Rhapsody, seems like a great idea. However, the last verse was what left me feeling unsettled:
"In the end it's worth it
Wouldn't change a thing
In the end it's worth it
In the end it's worth it to me
Gotta wash the kid's clothes.
[There is also the fact that this piece does nothing but list all of the domestic chores of a mother and completely fails to address that women, and mothers, are something beyond laundry and kids, but that's for another post.]

Lastly, is the piece from Marketplace, or more accurately the trailer for the piece. I can't find it archived, but the part that stuck with me was "if you had to do it all over again, would you still have kids?" Or, reworded, "Was it worth it?"

Well, is it? What makes having kids "worth it?" What is the value of being a parent?

Allow me to digress for a moment and admit something. I'm a semanticist. What words we use and what they mean in comparison to other words is very important to me. So, before we discuss why it nearly impossible to answer these questions, we should define our terms.

According to Oxford English Dictionary, "worth" as an adjective is:
1. Of the value of a specified amount or sum; equivalent to (something) in material value.
2. Of (such-and-such) value to a person.
3. Of material value; capable of being estimated in terms of money or some other material standard; valuable as a possession or property.

So, for example, my trip to urgent care. What would have made it "worth" it? What is the material value of being a parent?